I'm Amy. I'm a university student who likes writing, reading, running, drinking tea, practicing yoga, eating, sleeping and listening to music. Sometimes I like doing school work. This is my attempt at making a blog that focuses on inspirational things that make me happy. I'm still learning how to use tumblr.
Perhaps a little rough around the edges, this is the ‘no frills, no fluff’ advice I would give to my 20-year-old self if I ever got the chance to travel back in time.
.
.
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.I’m having trouble sleeping.
When I do sleep, I oversleep.
When I also sleep, I toss and turn.
I haven’t gone running.
I haven’t done yoga.
I’m not eating well.
I’m thinking too much.
I’m not very happy. Therefore, this blog has been lacking.
Editor’s Note: This is a contribution by Joanna Z. Weston
“Always concentrate on how far you’ve come, rather than how far you have left to go.” ~Unknown
It is laughably easy to forget to stop and take stock of how far we have come in our lives. Our world focuses so much on what we lack—be it money, beauty, prestige, or romantic success—that it is far too common for us to get trapped in the loop of needing to have, be, or do “more” before thinking that we might be good enough. I, for one, do it all the time.
A year and a half ago I was unemployed with no idea what to do next. I’d spent my life until that point ignoring the conviction that there was something I was meant to do. Since I didn’t know what that calling might be, I played it safe by getting a library degree.
I was pretty good at library work, but I was never passionate about it, which made me an unremarkable candidate for the few remaining library positions after the economy crashed.
All of this left me sitting at home, miserable. Unemployment, combined with a particularly nasty winter, led to a terrible flare up of my lifelong nemesis, depression. To say that I was despondent that winter would be a gross understatement!
Of course, I can now see that this was a blessing. That terrible winter pushed me to realize that something had to change, and fast. I was finished playing it safe, and ready to figure out my dream!
Since then, I’ve identified my true calling (to become a life coach), sought training, and now I stand on the cusp of living my ideal life. But is that how I see the situation most days? Of course not.
More days than not, I find myself focusing on how far I still have to go. I see the programs I haven’t implemented yet and the website that isn’t quite perfect, rather than taking the time to marvel over the fact that I have so many ideas and a website at all.
And you know what? Failing to acknowledge how far I’ve come robs me of a lot of joy and a lot of pride. I may not have everything figured out in my new business, but I’ve come a long way from where I was a year ago.
I would be willing to bet that you’ve made huge progress in the last year, as well, but are too focused on what remains to be done to see it. I invite you to start giving yourself credit for a lot of hard work and achievement.
Some tips to help you see how far you’ve come:
It’s hard to hear the truth when a thousand voices and worries are circling through your mind. Taking just five minutes to sit down and let the voices become quiet can make a huge difference.
I can guarantee that you will be surprised by your answers. Change comes slowly, so it can be hard to see it, but it’s always happening, whether we see it or not.
If you keep a journal or blog, reread some of your old entries. You’ll find written evidence (in your own hand!) of just how far you’ve come when you see what was upsetting you back then.
I don’t care how small or insignificant it seems, write them down! Then look at that list and reflect on just how much you’ve done.
We can be our own worst critics, so sometimes those close to us have a clearer view of how much we’ve grown than we have of ourselves. If it feels awkward to ask someone to tell you nice things about yourself, offer to return the favor.
Remember that not all progress is related to your career. How have your relationships, your spirituality, or your self-knowledge improved?
As you go about your day, try to notice when you take even the smallest step toward your goals, and be sure to honor that in some way. Even just writing it down in your journal will give you that moment of recognition.
We all want to reach the top of the mountain and feel that we have achieved something. We want to be finished, but that’s never going to happen; our lives are a constant work in progress, which is the way it ought to be. Trust me, you’d be bored if you weren’t constantly changing and growing.
Whatever you are working towards, and however far you still have to go, I encourage you to take the time to truly bask in everything you have achieved thus far.
It doesn’t matter if you are moving fast or slow, only that you keep moving! And the best way to ensure that you continue to do that is to cherish each step along the way.
by Lori Deschene
“When you stop trying to change others and work on changing yourself, your world changes for the better.” ~Unknown
There are certain relationships that we don’t want to end; we just want them to improve.
Sometimes it might seem like that will only happen if someone else starts acting differently—with more kindness, respect, thoughtfulness, compassion, understanding, or consideration.
Years ago, a therapist told me we can’t ever change other people; we can only change how we respond to them.
At the time, I found this incredibly frustrating because I didn’t know what I could do differently. I only knew I wanted to be treated better because I was tired of feeling bad.
But what do we do when we respond more calmly, or try to see things differently, but we still find ourselves getting hurt?
Sometimes we don’t want to completely close a door, with a family member, for example; we just don’t know how to keep it open without opening ourselves up to pain.
I’ve learned that changing our response to people means changing how we engage with them.
It can mean seeing someone less frequently, or avoiding certain topics, or knowing when to change the subject.
It might mean refusing to feel guilty or defensive, taking things less personally, or modeling the type of behavior we’d like to see in them.
It might also mean accepting that not all relationships need to be close and intimate.
As much as we might want someone to fill a certain role in our lives, they have to want to do it. And if they aren’t, it’s our job to recognize that so we don’t continually cause ourselves stress by trying to smash a square peg into a round hole.
Little in this world is more painful than wanting to be close with someone but knowing it’s a recipe for disaster. It’s harder when we think it could be so simple if that person could just realize how much we care and try, even if a little, to reciprocate it like we deserve.
But we generally don’t change when other people force us to do it; we change when we realize what we might lose if we don’t, and recognize that the discomfort of doing things differently is better than the pain of that loss.
We can’t make someone else make an effort. But we can make smart decisions for our own well-being. This may inspire someone else to change; it might not. Either way, we’ve honored the most important relationship in our lives: the one we have with ourselves.
(Source: tinybuddha.com)
